


Cobalt Crusade

by Quirinah



Category: Splatoon
Genre: Canon Compliant, Multi, OH YEAH REAL NAME HCS I FORGOT THOSE, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, also peppering in inkling almanacs because i can, and oh too many ocs, because thats prolly how many people are in this stupid fic, firefly!aloha, i mean it takes place after all of the arcs some time so i guess???????? EHUGHH?, im not tagging everyone in the goddamn manga, oh my god this title is terrible but hngnhhhh, ohhhhhhhhhh burrrnnnnnnnnnn, plot sorta sucks but look im trying to reference canon coroika of course its gonna suck, theres some ships because im an unfortunate coroika nerd but theyre not the focus, yes im putting in short exclusively im a kinnie ok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:46:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26262121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quirinah/pseuds/Quirinah
Summary: “Yeah, you see the thing is,” Midnight quipped. “You won the Square Tournament, yeah? Now you gotta defend that title of Number One Turfer.”“I beg your pardon?”“Yeah. It’s what Emperor and his little band of royals have been doin’ for the past four years. You never heard of that tradition?" Midnight scoffed. “You think they’d willingly take arms against lowly commoners? Nah, they gotta defend their title. It’s like, THE rule.”From within the depths of her pockets, Headphones’s phone began to ring. Blearily, she picked it up.With a gulp, she slowly lowered her phone, turning towards the rest of her team. “It’s not a joke. We’re actually participating.”---After Blue Team defeated Team Emperor in the Square King Cup, they thought the prize just came with a bonus shop in the city. However, the title of Number One Turfer bears a great responsibility: you must defend your title from the next challengers to the cup! There's tons of faces, old and new...and they're ruthlessly clawing their way up. Can Blue Team survive this year's cutthroat competition?
Relationships: Aloha/Rider (Splatoon), Army/Glasses | Specs, Laceless/Prince (Splatoon), Rider/Aloha/School Asymmetry (Splatoon), Rider/School Asymmetry (Splatoon)
Kudos: 7
Collections: CoroikaCollection





	1. A New Challenge Approaches!

“And then he hit the dude with a punch so hard it could drop a whale to it’s knees!” Goggles chirped, fist swinging haphazardly through the air and missing Specs by a millimeter. “Like WHOOOOSH!”

“Do whales even have knees…?” Headphones muttered under her breath, sipping on her tea as she pondered the question thoughtfully. 

“Sure do!” he replied happily. “I talked to one on a subway once.”

An unfamiliar voice rang through the air. “OI! Kid over there, with the pilot goggles.”

Said kid with goggles pointed at himself in confusion. “Yuh?” Goggles asked, fist still suspended in the air. Squirming in his seat, he turned to face up at the mysterious person, still smiling ear to ear. “You need something?-”

An offputtingly tall inkling stared down at him, frog-like, slitted pupils smoldering with determination. With his furred military coat, black face paint, and amber-colored eyes, he almost resembled Army, but unlike the straight-laced curry captain, this squid had a disheveled, almost wild look, hair mussed and frizzy with the hint of a fang poking out from his mouth. He had a strange, stone-grey ink color Goggles had never seen before on any creature, let alone a cephalopod. 

“I look forward to our match in the turf tournament,” he said, in a low, rapsy, tone that sounded more tired than intimidating. “Don’t flake, or you’ll regret it.”

Before Goggles could open his mouth to interject, another cephie butted in, seemingly the other inkling’s teammate, judging by her similarly grey hair and sharp golden eyes. Though, while the other’s eyes were deep and fiery, like the embers of a hearth, hers were slender, cunning, and razor sharp, though they danced with a strange mischievous spark. 

“Hey. Can it, Wolf.” She gently placed a hand on the other inkling’s shoulder, smiling apologetically at a perplexed Blue Team. “Sorry about that, folks.”

She winked at them, leading Wolf away from Goggles with a smirk. “Though, I do wish you the best of luck.”

As soon as she was out of their sight, Specs turned to Bobble with a confused expression. “What in the hay was that?”

She only shrugged with her signature giggle, going back to sipping on her smoothie. 

“Maybe they mistook us for someone else,” Headphones mused.    
“Doubt it,” Specs quipped. “By now, the face of the ‘Idiot Team’ probably gets broadcasted in every hot turf area in Inkopolis.”

“Does that mean we’re FAMOUS??” Goggles squealed. Bobble joined him in a cheer, high fiving him with relish. 

“No, noooooo.” Specs groaned. “It means everyone probably recognizes us as the haphazard dorks who somehow manage to defeat battle kings by pantsing them.” He, Bobble, and Headphones all glanced over at Goggles with a knowing, almost disappointed glance.

“What?” he asked. “Is there something on my face again?”

Specs snorted. Headphones rolled her eyes at such fast speeds Goggles was afraid they’d pop out of her head. 

After what seemed like a painfully awkward silence, yet another unfamiliar voice cut through the air, first quiet and distant like an echo, but slowly growing louder and louder, followed by the sound of running footsteps. “hhhhHHHHEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! BLUUEEEEE TEAAAAAM!!!”

Before he could shriek, a tiny cannonball of an inkling crashed into Goggles, who subsequently collapsed on top of Headphones, who toppled Specs over, who landed unceremoniously on top of Bobble, knocking her drink out of her hands and onto the floor. Glaring at the unwelcome visitor with angry red eyes, she harrumphed, freeing herself from the heap of squidkids and tossing her now empty drink cup into the trash.

“It’s such an HONOR to compete against you in the Square Cup Tournament!” the inkling chirped, adjusting red-framed glasses and dusting off his cherry-printed tee. “I’m Scout!” he chirped, pointing to his pink lace-ups. “It’s SO great to meet you, really! A total honor, if I do say so myself.”

Behind him, an inkling girl with rows of chunky jewelry on her wrists and neck rolled her eyes, flicking him with one beaded finger. “I think they get the point, Scout.”

“Yeah,” Specs coughed from beneath the pile. “I would appreciate it if you got off.”

Scout giggled awkwardly. “Sorry.”

He pried himself off Goggles, helping Specs to his feet. “Anyways, this is Day,” he explained, pointing to the girl with the beads. Behind Day was a girl with a short bob and round tortoiseshell glasses, who huffed and panted as she struggled to keep up with the hubbub. “That’s Midnight.” Finally, at a choppy, striding pace, yet another cephie followed behind Midnight, ponytail tied back from his forehead with a tennis headband, puffy jacket slung over his shoulders. “And over there is Trooper.”

“IT IS THE GREATEST OPPORTUNITY FOR US TO BE FIGHTING FOR THE CUP!” Trooper barked, arm swinging up in a salute. “I HOPE WE CAN MEET IN THE FINAL ROUND!”

“Gonna be fun,” Midnight said. “Can’t wait to see your tricks.”

Headphones chuckled awkwardly. “Yeah, sorry, you got it wrong. We’re not actually...participating this year?”

Day and Midnight exchanged cringed looks. Scout laughed awkwardly. 

“Uh..what’s going on?” Specs asked.

Trooper looked up at him with an expression of borderline pity. “Did someone forget to tell you…?”   
“Tell WHAT?!?”

“Yeah, you see the thing is,” Midnight quipped. “You won the Square Tournament, yeah? Now you gotta defend that title of Number One Turfer.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Yeah. It’s what Emperor and his little band of royals have been doin’ for the past four years. You never heard of that tradition?”

Goggles wrinkled his brow in thought, squinting at the memory of his infamous victory. “I thought they just did it for the kicks!”

Midnight scoffed. “You think they’d willingly take arms against  _ lowly commoners? _ Nah, they gotta defend their title. It’s like, THE rule.”

From within the depths of her pockets, Headphones’s phone began to ring. Blearily, she picked it up.

**egingtheremixjr > ** _ Heard you guys gotta defend the Square Cup this time! Good luck out there! _

**queenpacer >** _Some of those teams are ruthless. I wonder how things will turn out._

**laceless > ** _ We’ll be competing too! It’s sure to be exciting, I bet.  _

**egingtheremixjr > ** _ can’t wait to see the look on my old man’s face when he sees blue team as the champions of the turf tournament instead of us. LMAOOOO _

With a gulp, she slowly lowered her phone, turning towards the rest of her team. “It’s not a joke. We’re actually participating.” 

“Well, o great leader?” Goggles piped up. “Whaddya think we should do?”

All heads turned towards Specs. 

“I…” He looked back at Blue Team, quivering with anticipation. “We…” He looked over at the other inklings, who watched him with a look of curious interest. “I gotta…” Finally, he took one last look at Inkopolis Square, where a new banner hung:  _ Annual Square King Cup Tournament: New Challengers Approaching!! _

With a gasp, he turned back to his team. “We need to prepare!’


	2. Role Call!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HOOH boy...this is where we introduce the fuckton of teams here, have fun reading my ostentatiously long descriptive paragraphs about a character's outfit guys

“SQUARE KING CUP TOURNAAAMEENTTTTT!” Goggles howled into the square, fists pumped up to the sky. “WE MEET AGAIIIINNNNNNN!!!!”

“HOOOOUGHHYEAAAHHHH!!” Bobble whooped in response, her voice echoing amongst the square. 

“Keep it down, you two!” Specs hissed. “People are already staring at us!”   
The two seemed to pay him no attention, instead charging facefirst into the crowd. Whispers were already rising, oh god. Specs cringed, waiting for the familiar remarks of “Idiot team” and “ridiculous”, and-

“Is that Blue Team? They’re supposed to be the Square Cup champions.”   
“I heard they beat Team Emperor, the s4, and the X! They must be super strong!”   
“No way, that must be a hoax. There’s no way they can be THAT powerful…”   
“Oh em squee! Here they come!”

With an excited chatter, the crowd parted, making way for the Blue Team to pass through. The looks weren’t of disdain or disbelief, but rather of respect‒and a determination to beat them. It was certainly a new experience. 

“RIDER!!” Goggles screeched, scurrying towards a very familiar green-haired squid. “HEY RIDER!! WE’RE THE CHAMPIONS IN THE SQUARE KING CU-”

“I heard,” was Rider’s exasperated reply. “It was all over the square. They had posters and everything.”

“What’s this?” Aloha chirped, suddenly appearing behind Rider, propping lanky, freckled elbows on the shorter squid’s shoulder. “There’s a new champion? Why didn’t anyone tell me?~”

“It’s...us,” Specs sighed. “WE’RE the champions.”

“How the plot THICKENS!” Aloha gasped, sprawling into Rider’s arms in an overmelodramatic fashion. “To think that BLUE TEAM? THE BLUE TEAM? IS NOW THE CHAMPION?”

“You don’t need to rub it in,” Specs mumbled. 

Rider nodded, barely acknowledging the six foot pink inkling now draped over him. “Yeah. I heard Team Emperor’s joining in to reclaim their position. The X-Blood too, though that’s surprising considering they sort of stick to ranked-ALOHA GET YOUR SPIDERY ARMS OFF ME.” 

“Oh nooo, Rider,” the lankier firefly squid drawled in response. “Gravity is increasing on meeeeee....” With a heave, he leaned farther back onto a protesting Rider, dragging the duo down to the ground in a tangled pile. “It cannot be helped! Why must we always end up in these situations, Irvine dearest?”

“KEVIN EILANDER, I WILL EMPTY YOU OF ALL YOUR ORGANS-”

“But hey,” Aloha chirped, ignoring a frustrated Rider struggling to untangle himself from Aloha and winking at Specs. “Who knows? You guys might just win again. You did beat us, after all.”

“I don’t know about that exactly,” Headphones said, twiddling with her fingers. “Pacer mentioned some of the new teams were kind of tough-”

She was interrupted by the sound of the Inkopolis News screen crackling to life.

“Y-Y-y’know what time it is!” Pearl’s voice crowed from the speakers. 

Marina smiled bashfully, waving down at the crowd. “It’s Off the Hook, coming at you live from Inkopolis Square!”

“And we’ll be the announcers for this year’s annual Square King Turf tournament!” 

With a single scratch of her turntables, Marina changed the screen display, showing a long list of teams and names. “This tournament, like always, is knockout-style! A competition between the winning teams from the qualifying rounds!” 

The screen flickered again, changing from a view into the Inkopolis News studio to a display of the square, honing in on the audience, though Off the Hook could still be heard from the speakers. “Let’s introduce our FIERCE new teams competing!”

“Most of these are familiar faces, aren’t they, Pearlie?”

“Of course they are! But it’s still nice to see them.” The screen zoomed in on a group of green inklings, lead by a familiar squidkid with slicked back hair and fingerless gloves. “First up, we have Team Gloves! They’re supposedly the freshest kids on the block, no?”   
“Well, this tournament’s certainly the place to prove that, Marina!” Pearl crowed, adjusting the screen again to focus on a gaggle of red-haired octolings, who seemed to be quite unused to the large crowd. “Check out those SWEET hairstyles! It’s Team Hachi, a group that certainly went out with a bang in the ranked cup! 

“Perhaps they might do better here,” Marina mused. “After all, they won’t be fighting the X.”   
“AND SPEAKING OF THEM,” Pearl continued, adjusting the camera to focus on a small team leaning against one of the shops. In the dark, their red eyes seemed to glow menacingly, though they smiled,  _ genuinely  _ smiled at the audience around them. Even Vintage waved at the camera. “It seems the X-Blood have stepped out of their comfort zone! They’ll be participating in this tournament, but for what? A chance to get back at the new champions, who they’ve  _ lost _ to? We may never know-”   
“This isn’t their first rodeo,” Marina said with a chuckle. “They know how to battle.”

“It’ll certainly be fun to see how they can adjust!” Pearl giggled. 

“Oh, but look over there!” The screen zoomed in on a very familiar team of inklings: a stern-faced man with a manual in hand, a scowling cyan kid with a gas mask, a quiet, airheaded cephie with a bandana over his face, and finally, Aloha, who was still leaning casually on a flailing Rider. “It’s the famous S4! They’re teaming up again for this yet again! But wait!” Again, the camera zoomed in, this time on a dejected Rider. “Is that the famous S4 Rider with them as well? The one who managed to stain the King’s shoes?” The screen panned to a small clutter of lime inklings, who watched Rider from afar with amusement. “Looks like he brought his friends with him as well!” In the background, the School Cardigans, decked out in their signature uniforms, waved pink and green pom poms. 

“And hey, over there!” As if on cue, a group of elegant, sun-yellow inklings with signature white coats strutted into the square, followed by a cheerful Prince. “Team New-Peror’s here! It seems they want to reclaim their rightful place as the kings of turf!”

If the crowd had been hyped before, now, they were in an uproar, the square bustling with chatter and cheers. Even Headphones, who had her ears covered by her headset, jumped at the sudden noise.   
“I heard Emperor took a break to coach them!” Goggles gushed. “ It seems he really wants to help his brother win!” 

“It seems the other teams really don’t want them to, though!” Bobble chirped. “Maybe they want a crack at the prize themself.”   
Headphones looked at the teams, who were talking to each other in a friendly manner, exchanging handshakes and smiles. “They look pretty happy to me.”   
“Not those guys, silly.” Bobble pointed off towards the distance. “ _ Them. _ ”

The new teams walked in like an army, paving through the crowd like an arrow, bearing scowls and competitive glares. The audience parted as they walked through, looking at them with not admiration or respect, but rather fear. It was a similar sight to Team Emperor’s first entrance, and to the X, and even to that fateful day way back when Rider first met Team Blue. 

“OHHHH!” Pearl whooped. “It’s the brand new teams debuting! Aren’t they awesome?”

“They most certainly are! I hear some have the potential to be the best battlers there is!” Marina replied. With the scratch of a record, the camera panned towards Scout, Day, Trooper, and Midnight, who were huddled amongst the crowd. “Look! It’s Team Spring. They might look like your average turf team with sweet kicks, but they’ve BLAZED through the qualifying rounds! How exciting!”

“But don’t get hyped just yet!” Pearl said, panning the screen away while Scout was still making kissy faces into the camera. “We’ve still got more FRESH squids to cover!”

The screen honed in on some faraway point in the distance. While it seemed barren and empty at first, a faint revving of engines could be heard, before two impressively large motorcycles, one candy apple green and one devil red, stopped right at the back of the crowd with a screech, kicking up dirt and dust into the audience. 

As the debris settled, the first rider removed their helmet, revealing a short girl in a school uniform, black boots shined to the finish and skirt as lime green as her hair, adjusting the glowing headset over her ears. With a bit of imagination, she almost resembled Metry, though she had a cocky smirk and punky flair that seemed to be unique to her. 

“And it seems Team Neon’s right on time,” Pearl said with amusement. “It’s their team leader, Neo!”

Behind Neo, two more riders removed their helmets as well, revealing a leather jacket-clad inkling with eyes as red as cherries and a sturdy pair of goggles and a shorter girl with a gas mask and crimson-colored boots. “And Glooga and Punk? SURPRISING!”

Finally, the last Team Neon removed her helmet with relish, flicking it to the ground and flipping her short hair with dramatic sass. She seemed to be decked out in full silver, from her face mask to her t-shirt down to her platform sneakers. “OOOOOHHHH! And it looks like Queen’s made her entrance too!”

Pearl chuckled at the thought. “QUEEN? Hopefully she’ll live up to her name and beat both kings of turf: old and new.”

“Oh, but Pearlie, you might want to look at this new team for that wish!” Marina chirped, changing the camera to focus on yet another new team. “Team Eminence, sponsored by Enperrry for the BIGGEST publicity event Inkopolis has ever seen! Imagine: the old kings versus the rising stars!”   
While they seemed similar, so similar to Team Emperor it was almost eerie, there was a drastic change in their clothing: while Emperor and his team wore pure white and flashes of gold, this team had clothing the color of a midnight sky, flashes of harsh sterling silver on the armbands and jackets. The camera panned first to the center girl; she seemed to be the leader. “Squidclip: aspiring model and former heiress to the Toni Kensa brand!” Next, the screen zoomed on a scowling inkling with a pretty gray headscarf and lugging a massive gold dynamo twice her size over both shoulders. “Brice, the mysterious tank whose true name is unknown!” Besides Brice was a shorter inkling with devil horns and a slicked back hairstyle, looking much more eager to be on camera. “Devil, their right hand man, monster with the charger!” Finally, the camera laid its eyes on a stoic, quiet octoling with a strange pair of silver sunglasses on their nose. “And Cao, the silent splatling assassin! It’s said they modified their weapon to be totally devoid of sound. I wonder how that got past the referees?~”

“I suppose you’ll have to ask Judd himself on that,” Marina chirped. “Or maybe they just got a permit.”

Pearl snorted, rolling her eyes with a pout as the display flickered back to Off the Hook to show their reactions. “That’s BORING.”

“Well, this new team surely isn’t!” Marina gushed, panning to a menacing group of cephies. Goggles recognized the leader as the grey-inked turfer who had approached him before. “Team Wild, lead by their leader Wolf-” She zoomed in on the picture of him next to the other girl from earlier, the one who had lead him away from Team Blue. “And his co-captain, Fox.” While she seemed to share Wolf’s yellow eyes and gray ink, she was dressed in all black, from her sleek jacket down to her boots. 

Beside Fox was a skittish looking boy dressed in all white, hair tied up in a topknot similar to rabbit ears. “Hare, Fox’s partner in crime and a speedy demon with dualies!” Following closely behind Wolf, bearing an almost regal demeanor and a stare that was both cold as ice and as searing hot as fire, was a cooly-dressed octoling with hair yanked into an unusual braid and strange gold face paint. Like Team Emperor, she had their signature white coat, though the crest on the front and back was missing. “And Lion, the warrior of ranked, though, fortunately for us, she’s decided to return to turf! It’s sure to be a spectacle!”

Vintage’s eyes almost seemed to darken at the sight of the golden-clad inkling, though he quickly switched to a look of disinterest. Even Skull looked alarmed, but he quickly shook it off. 

Specs looked concerned at their reactions. “What’s up with them?” he whispered through the chatter.

“Didn’t Skull mention he and Vintage used to be on the same team?” Bobble replied curiously as Off the Hook continued to list off names and players. “Maybe they fought Team Wild in the past.”

“But that wouldn’t be plausible,” Specs mused. “Team Wild’s making their first competitive group appearance as of now. Maybe they were connected to Lion sometime in the past-”

He was interrupted by a roar of cheers from the audience. 

“AND, FOR THE GRAND FINALE, WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL TEAM WITH US TODAY!” Pearl cheered, voice reverbrating through the crowd. “The ones who managed to TAKE DOWN the S4, SPLAT the unbeatable Emperor, and even BRUTALLY DESTROY the generals of ranked!” The camera panned over to Team Blue, showing them from all angles on the Inkopolis Square screens. “THE IDIOT-ER, BLUE TEAAM!!!”

The crowd went abuzz with chatter, whooping with excitement at the sight. For the rest of Team Blue, it was a new experience: having all eyes on you, some filled with determination and jealousy, some filled with admiration and fear...until Goggles tripped, dragging his pants down with him.

“They really are the idiot team, huh?” Pearl said in a rather sarcastic tone of voice. “Same old Team Ridiculous.” The crowd seemed to agree, cheers turning into hushed whispers and almost mocking glances. Specs, at the all-too familiar sight, wilted, smile vanishing. 

“BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT!” Pearl chirped. “THE SQUARE KING TOURNAMENT STARTS NOW! PARTICIPANTS, CHECK YOUR PHONES FOR YOUR SCHEDULE AND THE LATEST DEETS! DON’T GET COOKED!”

“Stay Off the Hook!” Marina finished, doing the signature hand pose. 

With a crack, the screen flickered to black, and the crowd soon dispersed, murmurs and whispers bubbling up among them.

“Well, so much for making an impression,” Headphones lamented as they were left alone in the plaza. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> specs just wants to have a good time smh my head goggles

**Author's Note:**

> haha oc inserts go brrrrrrr


End file.
